I have always been an obese child. Since everyone in my
family is on the heavier side, I assumed it to be a normal state to be in.
However, in my teens, comparing my potbelly to the flat, tight abs of all the
pretty girls in class made me sink in the abyss of low self-esteem. I started
considering myself as ugly and hideous although I’m quite ordinary looking.
My love for all things fried and incessant snacking only led
to the piling on of more fat on my hips and I started looking much older than I
was. Since I had resigned myself to being the ugly duckling, I was too busy
sulking about my looks than to notice what the problem was. In addition, there
was no one around to control my poor eating habits and inculcate healthy ones. I
continued to feast on junk food while my body continued on its road to obesity
& ill health.
My love-affair with fat and unhealthy food continued for
many years through high school and in college. And then I entered the corporate
world. As fate would have it, I ended up working for a company whose basic
principal is to keep their employees happy by feeding them food at all times.
All for free. It was as if the floodgates of junk food had been opened. I spent
most of my time in office working hard and of course treating myself to yummy
food as a reward for all the hard work. Within 3 months, I put on a whopping 10
kgs.
Like the countless people who have tried different tricks
and techniques to lose weight, even I have tried my hand at all them.
One fine day I realized that I need to do something about my
ever increasing weight. Office gym was the best place to tackle it, I thought.
With the new found enthusiasm, I braved the heavy rains and horrible traffic to
buy a new pair of gym shoes and clothes. And then I went to the gym, for 2
weeks! Vacation, work load, laziness (not necessarily in that order) thwarted
my plans. And then I went back to my old ways of stuffing my belly with
super-awesome, oily, fatty food. Gym did not do me any good, I concluded.
A couple months later, I decided to join aerobics. To my
surprise, I actually enjoyed it. I shocked myself by being regular and
committed for 3 months. And without anybody telling me, I switched to eating
only healthy food. I swore off desserts. I did not touch any desserts for 3
whole months. I still can’t figure out what had gotten into me. And no prizes
for guessing what happed. I lost weight. Full 10 kgs. I was lighter and fitter.
I even had an absolutely flat tummy. Just like all good things come to an end,
my stint with aerobics ended. The strange conspiracy of the universe to keep me
fat! The trainer quit her job.
For a while I managed to keep myself under control but all
the evil forces within me that had been starved off junk food suddenly raised
their ugly head. I was transformed into a monster that could devour any and
everything that it could lay its hands on. No surprise that I put on those
10kgs and more.
On a sudden stroke of inspiration, I decided to give gyming
another try. This time I had a workout -companion. She motivated me (dragged me
more like) to the gym every day. I started becoming a regular. But the monster
was not satisfied. It continued to feed the evil forces despite my resistance.
Conclusion-I did not put on weight due to gyming but I did not lose any due to
the indiscriminate hogging.
This arrangement was okay by me as long as I didn’t put on
any more weight. And then I got engaged. I had 2 months to lose all the weight
that I had accumulated over the years. I was determined to look breathtakingly
gorgeous on my wedding. Left with no option, I decided to follow a crash diet.
I visited a dietician who claimed to have helped hundreds of people lose their
weight. She prescribed a diet plan that was mostly liquids. Very severe and
highly difficult. But I had already visualized myself as a beautiful bride on
my wedding day. And I was prepared to do almost anything to achieve that. So I
took up the challenge. I starved and followed the diet very very strictly for 2
months. And I did lose weight. Not as much as I had imagined but enough to make
me happy with the way I looked on the D-day.
Mission accomplished and dieting stopped. As is the case
with my most people, post marriage I stopped taking care of myself or bothering
about what I ate. The issues that cropped up as a result of arranged marriage
made me anxious. And I took comfort in eating as a cure for my anxiety. This
continued for 8 months. During which time I travelled a lot with my husband. I
took many pictures but refused to share any with friends or even to meet new
people as I was growing conscious of my protruding belly and flabby hips.
Yet again I was determined to take corrective action. This
time I put my money on weight-loss powders. Survive on milkshakes prepared from
these powders and you shall lose weight, I was told. I tried that. For 2 weeks!
The thought of only drinking milkshake with no solid food let alone oily,
greasy food made me sad and upset and hungrier. I stopped.
2 months later, I enrolled myself in an aerobics class
nearby. As mentioned earlier, aerobics is something I enjoy. I went there
regularly for 2 months. I did not see instant results like the last time.
Mainly because I wasn’t as strict with my diet. Nevertheless, I realized that I
was toning up and people had started noticing the difference.
This is my 3rd month of aerobics and I’ve already
started having the urge to gorge on junk food. Much as I exercise control on my
tongue, the thought of these delicacies continue to torment me.
This is a constant and continuous battle and I have to wage
this all through my life. Love for food as well as a desire to look attractive
and wear the most fashionable of outfits is tearing me.
After these varied
experiments and attempts at weight loss, I’ve come to understand that the most
important component for this activity is not the right trainer or a certain
magic potion. The only way to do this right is with discipline. There is
absolutely no substitute for this and I’ve learnt this the hard way. No matter how
hard I work and how good the results may be, once the discipline slips, you’re
back to square one. A burning desire to keep going long after the results are
obtained is the key to success. Although I know this, it is very difficult to
implement and I’m still struggling to bring myself to follow it.
Every morning as I get ready to go to work, I look at myself
and make a promise not to eat junk food for the next week so as to reduce my
paunch. Yet, the sight of a lovely chocolate cake topped with whipped cream
makes my heart melt and my brain forgets all promises. Sigh!
