Chronicles of my weight-loss plans

I have always been an obese child. Since everyone in my family is on the heavier side, I assumed it to be a normal state to be in. However, in my teens, comparing my potbelly to the flat, tight abs of all the pretty girls in class made me sink in the abyss of low self-esteem. I started considering myself as ugly and hideous although I’m quite ordinary looking.

My love for all things fried and incessant snacking only led to the piling on of more fat on my hips and I started looking much older than I was. Since I had resigned myself to being the ugly duckling, I was too busy sulking about my looks than to notice what the problem was. In addition, there was no one around to control my poor eating habits and inculcate healthy ones. I continued to feast on junk food while my body continued on its road to obesity & ill health.

My love-affair with fat and unhealthy food continued for many years through high school and in college. And then I entered the corporate world. As fate would have it, I ended up working for a company whose basic principal is to keep their employees happy by feeding them food at all times. All for free. It was as if the floodgates of junk food had been opened. I spent most of my time in office working hard and of course treating myself to yummy food as a reward for all the hard work. Within 3 months, I put on a whopping 10 kgs.

Like the countless people who have tried different tricks and techniques to lose weight, even I have tried my hand at all them.

One fine day I realized that I need to do something about my ever increasing weight. Office gym was the best place to tackle it, I thought. With the new found enthusiasm, I braved the heavy rains and horrible traffic to buy a new pair of gym shoes and clothes. And then I went to the gym, for 2 weeks! Vacation, work load, laziness (not necessarily in that order) thwarted my plans. And then I went back to my old ways of stuffing my belly with super-awesome, oily, fatty food. Gym did not do me any good, I concluded.

A couple months later, I decided to join aerobics. To my surprise, I actually enjoyed it. I shocked myself by being regular and committed for 3 months. And without anybody telling me, I switched to eating only healthy food. I swore off desserts. I did not touch any desserts for 3 whole months. I still can’t figure out what had gotten into me. And no prizes for guessing what happed. I lost weight. Full 10 kgs. I was lighter and fitter. I even had an absolutely flat tummy. Just like all good things come to an end, my stint with aerobics ended. The strange conspiracy of the universe to keep me fat! The trainer quit her job.

For a while I managed to keep myself under control but all the evil forces within me that had been starved off junk food suddenly raised their ugly head. I was transformed into a monster that could devour any and everything that it could lay its hands on. No surprise that I put on those 10kgs and more.

On a sudden stroke of inspiration, I decided to give gyming another try. This time I had a workout -companion. She motivated me (dragged me more like) to the gym every day. I started becoming a regular. But the monster was not satisfied. It continued to feed the evil forces despite my resistance. Conclusion-I did not put on weight due to gyming but I did not lose any due to the indiscriminate hogging.

This arrangement was okay by me as long as I didn’t put on any more weight. And then I got engaged. I had 2 months to lose all the weight that I had accumulated over the years. I was determined to look breathtakingly gorgeous on my wedding. Left with no option, I decided to follow a crash diet. I visited a dietician who claimed to have helped hundreds of people lose their weight. She prescribed a diet plan that was mostly liquids. Very severe and highly difficult. But I had already visualized myself as a beautiful bride on my wedding day. And I was prepared to do almost anything to achieve that. So I took up the challenge. I starved and followed the diet very very strictly for 2 months. And I did lose weight. Not as much as I had imagined but enough to make me happy with the way I looked on the D-day.

Mission accomplished and dieting stopped. As is the case with my most people, post marriage I stopped taking care of myself or bothering about what I ate. The issues that cropped up as a result of arranged marriage made me anxious. And I took comfort in eating as a cure for my anxiety. This continued for 8 months. During which time I travelled a lot with my husband. I took many pictures but refused to share any with friends or even to meet new people as I was growing conscious of my protruding belly and flabby hips.

Yet again I was determined to take corrective action. This time I put my money on weight-loss powders. Survive on milkshakes prepared from these powders and you shall lose weight, I was told. I tried that. For 2 weeks! The thought of only drinking milkshake with no solid food let alone oily, greasy food made me sad and upset and hungrier. I stopped.

2 months later, I enrolled myself in an aerobics class nearby. As mentioned earlier, aerobics is something I enjoy. I went there regularly for 2 months. I did not see instant results like the last time. Mainly because I wasn’t as strict with my diet. Nevertheless, I realized that I was toning up and people had started noticing the difference.

This is my 3^rd month of aerobics and I’ve already started having the urge to gorge on junk food. Much as I exercise control on my tongue, the thought of these delicacies continue to torment me.

This is a constant and continuous battle and I have to wage this all through my life. Love for food as well as a desire to look attractive and wear the most fashionable of outfits is tearing me.

 After these varied experiments and attempts at weight loss, I’ve come to understand that the most important component for this activity is not the right trainer or a certain magic potion. The only way to do this right is with discipline. There is absolutely no substitute for this and I’ve learnt this the hard way. No matter how hard I work and how good the results may be, once the discipline slips, you’re back to square one. A burning desire to keep going long after the results are obtained is the key to success. Although I know this, it is very difficult to implement and I’m still struggling to bring myself to follow it.

Every morning as I get ready to go to work, I look at myself and make a promise not to eat junk food for the next week so as to reduce my paunch. Yet, the sight of a lovely chocolate cake topped with whipped cream makes my heart melt and my brain forgets all promises. Sigh!