How much a person affects you and your life is understood truly and completely only when the person is away from us.
V has flown to the US and I'm alone here.
I wish I could tell him in words just how much I miss having him around. No amount of talking, chatting or busying myself helps. All my mind wants to do is focus on the fact that he is away from me. Sure, I'm going to see him after some days-35 to be precise. That is no consolation for the misery I feel. And 35 days seems like some day in the next era. I pretend to be happy, busy, casual and even unaffected. I do not want people around me to notice this emptiness in me. I want to portray an image of a strong woman, but pretending is tough.
It's surprising how the mind works in its own mysterious ways to connect unrelated events or things back to the one you sorely miss at that point in time. It seems as though the mind is deriving a sadistic pleasure in seeing you go weak at such moments.
I read the newspaper and suddenly wish he was here to share a news item. As I talk to a friend and hear some gossip, I get eager to go back home in the evening to share the story with him, only to be reminded the next minute that I'd have to wait for almost a month more to narrate this. Not finding him next to me the first thing in the morning is unsettling. Just how an I going to get used to this?
Somehow, nothing can fill the void that his absence has created in my life. Music, family, friends, work-none of these can ever take his place. Until the minute I saw him enter the departure lounge at the airport, I never imagined the intensity of the pain his absence would cause me.
For a year now, I have developed a habit of constantly keeping him updated about me and every action, event and every thought that crosses my mind. Now it feels as if I did not know of an existence before him.
It has only been 2 days since he left and it seems like forever. I'm struggling to keep myself together. I know I'll get through this. However, not without wishing this would be the last time I'd ever have to stay away from him.
Distance does make the heart grow fonder. And sadder!
V has flown to the US and I'm alone here.
I wish I could tell him in words just how much I miss having him around. No amount of talking, chatting or busying myself helps. All my mind wants to do is focus on the fact that he is away from me. Sure, I'm going to see him after some days-35 to be precise. That is no consolation for the misery I feel. And 35 days seems like some day in the next era. I pretend to be happy, busy, casual and even unaffected. I do not want people around me to notice this emptiness in me. I want to portray an image of a strong woman, but pretending is tough.
It's surprising how the mind works in its own mysterious ways to connect unrelated events or things back to the one you sorely miss at that point in time. It seems as though the mind is deriving a sadistic pleasure in seeing you go weak at such moments.
I read the newspaper and suddenly wish he was here to share a news item. As I talk to a friend and hear some gossip, I get eager to go back home in the evening to share the story with him, only to be reminded the next minute that I'd have to wait for almost a month more to narrate this. Not finding him next to me the first thing in the morning is unsettling. Just how an I going to get used to this?
Somehow, nothing can fill the void that his absence has created in my life. Music, family, friends, work-none of these can ever take his place. Until the minute I saw him enter the departure lounge at the airport, I never imagined the intensity of the pain his absence would cause me.
For a year now, I have developed a habit of constantly keeping him updated about me and every action, event and every thought that crosses my mind. Now it feels as if I did not know of an existence before him.
It has only been 2 days since he left and it seems like forever. I'm struggling to keep myself together. I know I'll get through this. However, not without wishing this would be the last time I'd ever have to stay away from him.
Distance does make the heart grow fonder. And sadder!
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